Sunday, April 26

To my personal "Bestie"

To my bestie 희인
So this is what it feels like to miss someone as soon as they leave.
I never thought I could like anyone again but he has come in through the cracks of my heart.
His words mean more than he thinks they do.
When he tells me good night I feel as though he is telling me he loves me too and wishes I didn't have to go.

I can't help but smile at the very thought of him.
I'm embarrassing myself with how I feel about him.
I hate that I've gotten corny ever since falling for his "nice guy" aroma.

I know this is one sided but I don't really care about you liking me back, I like the way things are now and I never want them to change.

I love that you have opened up to me and that makes me feel special.
You calling me a "good friend" means alot more than the actual word "friend".

You let me in your broken heart and that means the world to me.
I love that you feel free enough to tell me how you truly feel on the inside and I like you more for that.

Even though I know you don't bare the same feelings I bare for you I still like you deeply.
I won't ruin what great relationship we have now by confessing to you since that is me just thinking about how I feel.

let's get along and strengthen our friendship so that it can lead us to places we never knew existed.
 from yours truly 루비

Saturday, April 11

Close my future

Sometimes I get scared when I think about my future.
I have dreams that I want to full fill but I'm afraid I may end up never full filling any of them.
I think to much about the future.
I stress about what I want to be and if I'll even be able to be those things.
I'm afraid of tomorrow and I'm afraid of today.
I want to be happy but I'm to scared that it might all fade away.
I'm also afraid of forever being alone.
I'm alone now so won't I be alone forever.
I wish I could go away, far away from everything and everyone reminding me of my unseen future.

one-sided love hurts the most

What can I do if I can't make you love me.
forced love isn't love at all.
You are flying away like the summer birds.
even though you are drifting farther and farther away your scent still stays.
Memories of you will always stay.
Even though you don't feel the same way I do I feel that it is my duty to tell you how I feel.

You make me dream of things I never dreamed about before.
Time seems to have stopped ever since I laid my eyes upon you.
Just the thought of you standing before me makes me nervous but excited.
Even though I know nothing good will come out of loving you I just can't help myself.

I know I will never mean anything to you 
Please let me keep you close to my heart even when you may not know you are still there.
You may love someone else but I won't be upset for I've always known you'd love someone else.
You may not hear my heart beat for you but I understand that that's the way things are suppose to be.

Goodbye for now my love until our paths connect again.

The cool wind blows threw my window.
mama's cooking while baba's drinking.
As I pretend to be practicing my calligraphy I secretly listen to the news relayed on the radio.
I hear war may breakout but baba whines and complains about how they always say that.
"China is free!" "We the Chinese people live in peace and harmony" baba said to mama.
Even though Baba is right I feel that this time maybe the man on the radio is right.