Tuesday, March 31

Love can seem meaningless if you have no one to love and for them to love you back.
My heart hasn't loved anyone so I fear I will never be able to love anyone properly.
My soul mate? I truthfully don't believe I have one.
I've lived my life in a cave with no one evening looking my way.
I do believe in soul mates but I don't believe that I myself have one.
sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me.
"Am I not pretty?", "Do I not have a good personality?' "or am I just not meant to be with anyone?' these questions swirl in my head every time I hear a guy say he likes my sister.
Could I possible be blind to all the guys who like me or did God put a spell on every guy I come into contact with that makes them not see me as anything more than a "friend".

I hate the fact that I care so much about love.
what is love to me? A spring bird drifting away?
I wish I could take out this love hungry heart so I can accept the fact that I will never have a "special person" in my life. I've told my self time and time again that I will never have someone liking, finding me attractive, nor loving me because it's just not meant to be.

When will I accept the fact that I will always be alone?

Saturday, March 21

안녕 안녕! 잘지내지^^ Pass these 2 years I've been getting a lot more aware of what’s going on around in this world.
Actually I don’t know everything (it’s not possible and I’m glad I don’t) but I do know a lot more than what I knew when I was 14 and down.
I feel as though my eyes are finally being opened to all the corruption and evil that happens in this world.
Yes I did know that there was evil and corruption in this world when I was younger but I didn't know there was a ton of it.

Even though it is a little scary knowing things I didn't know when I was younger I feel like I know a lot more and it also makes me feel good about myself.
I think having enough knowledge  allows me to not be so ignorant to everything and it gives me a better view on everything from big to little things.

One of the things I like to do when I’m around other people is to observe how people interact with each other and observe the knowledge they give to one another.
But with hearing people state what they believe is true can be agonizing for me.
Why? Well it’s simple, finding things out that so many people don’t know anything about makes it hard for me to listen to people talk about things I know about and they don’t.
Take my older brother for example.
My older brother has an amazing interest and love for learning about different religions (such as Islam,Judaism,Christianity) so when he hears people talk about different religions (they tend to talk about Islam in a negative way) that they know nothing about he definitely feels the right to tell them the truth about the religion they are talking about.

Well my ending point is that I am now thirsty for the truth and what’s going on around me. 안녕~